Eww! Blehhk! I don't feel so good....

Happy weekend!

Last week was a super week. We made our last long trek to Dallas to SIRM. We graduated! Dr. S. was as excited as we were. He gave us a letter and a copy of our chart for us to give my OB-GYN. I've decided to stick with Dr. R in Shreveport as my OB-GYN. I really like her! She is just so caring, and I trust her. Even though I have my doubts about having an OB-GYN that is two hours away when it comes to delivering, I'm sure we can make it work.

Nausea has reared its ugly head in my world this week! The first few mornings, it came on just as I first got up in the mornings. By the time I was driving to work, the nausea had turned to hunger. Yesterday was different. The nausea stayed and stayed and stayed. All day. There were moments during the day I was nauseated AND hungry! How that happens, I don't know. I ate small meals throughout the day, and it seemed once I would eat, I'd feel alittle better. Today, I haven't been nauseated at all. The acid reflux isn't nearly as bad as it has been. I get tired and winded easily, so I take lots of breaks and alot of naps. I want to start walking, but it's so hot outside! I really need to get some exercise.

All of my pants are tight, but I know it's too early to start wearing maternity pants. I've got a few things picked out online, but I haven't ordered yet. I'm having a hard time finding cute maternity things.

6 Weeks!

Hello friends!

Thursday was a big day for me! Not only was it my six week mark, but I had my first ultrasound. We were able to see our precious little jelly bean! One perfect baby! We were even able to hear the heartbeat. Mom and K were both there, and we shed lots of happy tears. I couldn't take my eyes off of the ultrasound screen. It was by far the best day of my life, and I am so grateful to the Lord for bringing me here. I never thought this would happen to me, and I'm doing my best to savor each and every moment. It's hard sometimes, and fear so easily slips in. I know that our struggle has tainted me to a point. That fact makes me angry. I know the next coming months that are normally joyous and exciting for most pregnant women will be largely consumed with fret and worry for me. I'm being pro-active against this fret and worry though, and I'm determined to not allow it to take over and rob me. As an act of faith, I made my pregnancy public on Facebook this week. It was a blessing to have so many encouraging comments! Just knowing that we've had so many people praying for us and this miracle makes my heart full.

This week will be another milestone week. We're going to Dallas this Wednesday for our second ultrasound to make sure our sweet jelly bean is growing, growing, growing! I can't wait to hear that heartbeat again. And it will be nice to see everyone at the clinic. I miss them!

The Ride is Slowing Down...and I'm Jumping Off!

Beta #1: 61

Beta #2: 292

Positive.

Could it be my time to get off of this horrible ride ?

This ride made me a stronger woman. I'll never stop praying for something that I think about every single day. When there is something I want, I will never stop fighting for it....no matter how hopeless it may seem.

Five Days After

Today makes the fifth day since transfer. I'm feeling great! I'm staying positive and optimistic this time. I'm not feeling different really. I am having some twinges, tugs, and fullness here and there. It's hard not to be overly sensitive about every little feeling!

Immediately after Dr. S. transferred our two embryos, I felt some mild crampy twinges. They continued through the rest of Tuesday night and Wednesday off and on. Then, the tugs started. Hopefully, it was the embryos snuggling in!!! Oh, I hope so. The crampy twinges are still happening. I felt bloated most of yesterday, then last night, the heaviness/fullness/pressure started in my lower pelvis. That heaviness continued all night and has continued all day today. And I love it.

I almost took a home pregnancy test this morning because I thought it would be so amazing to give a positive test to K for Fathers Day. But, I talked myself out of it. I think it's way too early anyway, and a negative outcome would be discouraging to me at this point, even though I'm ready for whatever comes my way on Friday. K keeps asking me "how his little babies are doing," and today, Mom washed every bit of my dirty laundry! What a treat!!! Our washer went out a week today, so needless to say, I had a BIG PILE. She is the laundry queen! My new washer/dryer set will be here Friday afternoon. J is excited too and is looking forward to the big test on Friday.

This is going to be a long week.

Things People Say

I consider myself pretty tough. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt most of the time, especially when it comes to comments about being pregnant, getting pregnant, infertility, etc. I don't know if these injections are interferring with my tolerance level or what, which is one reason I've been more private this time with our treatment. I believe whole-heartedly that people mean well the majority of the time. And also, there is a big part of me that wants to be transparent about everything and share my joy with others. However, there is also a place in my spirit, especially lately, that has just had enough of people's opinions and useless lines regarding pregnancy.

Today, I was having a conversation with a friend about our upcoming transfer. It just so happens this friend and her husband are about to start trying for baby #2. How lovely! Do people really do that? PLAN when to have sex so they will conceive? What's that like? I don't think my husband and I even relate sex and having a baby anymore. Have sex to have a baby? Who does that?

Anyway, the subject of the hot summer came up, and she made the statement that if it didn't happen immediately in July or August, they would just have to stop trying until her pregnancy wouldn't fall within the hottest summer months. How convenient. No worries about aging eggs or worrying about using all of your vacation time or making up work hours or the busy times of the month because there will be countless trips out of town for blood draws, ultrasounds, etc. They will just stop trying until it's more convenient. All of a sudden, I found myself sitting there with my throbbing and knotted Progesterone hip saying "well, I just pray it all works out exactly the way you want it....and I pray you never have to go thru HELL and back to get pregnant because this is no cake walk, especially these shots."

Then she said THIS.

"Well, you have to go through a certain amount of that when you actually have the baby anyway, ya know? Those epiderals are no fun."

What could I even say to that? Seriously?!

Transfer scheduled

We are looking forward to our transfer! It will be Tuesday @ 1:30.

Tuesday's appointment went great. My lining was at a 13, which is excellent, and my E2 level was at 720. Dr S. was happy with those numbers.

I also got to meet up with one of my sweet bloggie friends, Deni from Foxy Troxies. We had the best time talking about IVF, our fur babies, and little Miss Cala Faye, who I can't wait to meet. Deni is a ray of sunshine, and I feel like we've been friends forever. Meeting her was the highlight of my day.

We'll be staying in Dallas after the transfer so I can relax and let those two little embies snuggle in!

I can't wait to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise.)

Right now, I'm taking 100 mls of Progesterone every night, a steroid pill in the morning, an antibiotic morning and night, and a prenatal vitamin.

And just as a random thought, if I hear one more pregnant person on my Facebook complain about the heat, I might just smack them with a sandwich....after I invite them over to share in the luxury of a Progesterone shot in the rear.

Over and out!

What's New With Us

Hi bloggie friends!

It's hard to believe summer 2011 is here already! The south Arkansas heat is here, and I'm already extra thankful for my air conditioning!

J is so glad to be finished with 8th grade, and he isn't hesitating rubbing in the fact that he doesn't have to get up early for three months. He's had a good first year at his new school, and we're happy. It's so hard to believe the sweet, short 8-year old I met almost six years ago now is as tall as his Dad. Freshman year and driver's permit are just around the corner.

K started online classes last month. He's pursuing a bachelor's degree in Electronic Engineering Technology. The entire program is online. So far, he loves it. I admire him for his dedication, as I'm not sure I could focus. But, he's doing great and has all A's. Smarty pants. In addition to his new college endeavor, he's still working long, odd hours at work. I miss him.

We are in the process of trying IVF again with our Dallas clinic. I'm on my third week of Lupron injections, which are giving me headaches daily that hurt just enough to be annoying. There is a story behind our cycle this time....a very special one. We were donated seven frozen embryos by an anonymous couple at our clinic. Our embryo transfer will be June 13 - 16. This is a true miracle for us. Because of my poor egg quality issue, our chance of success using my eggs not good. Neither of our insurances touched egg donor, which is the plan our RE suggested. I began looking into embryo donation (and even posted a blog post about it,) and K and I just felt like this could be exactly for us. We had no idea how to go about finding embryos, whether to go through an agency, or what; so on a whim, I decided to talk to my RE. To make a long story short, ,my RE's office called with the news about finding us a donor only three days after we inquired. The news came along at the perfect time, and we both knew God was leading us to do this. We thank God for this amazing opportunity! We are so excited!

Our house is finally finished!!! I plan on posting pictures soon! It's been nice to clear out construction clutter and wipe sheet rock dust off of furniture for the LAST TIME. Today, I cleaned out the room that will be our baby's room.