"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Back to School and Reality

Hello! Wow, it's been awhile! There are alot of changes going on in my world these days. My step-son, J, is now officially living with us on a full-time basis. He starts 8th grade this Thursday. He seems to be very excited. I, on the other hand, am a nervous wreck. I am praying he gets off to a great start, makes some nice friends, and becomes more pro-active when it comes to his studies. The last few weeks at his old school were full of some bad choices on his part, and we are all hoping he takes advantage of this fresh start.

I didn't expect to have some of the fears and insecurities I've experienced since J came to live with us. I've been on-board with it from the very beginning because I knew when I married Keith that J was part of the package. I have to support him in this decision. I know in my heart that coming to live here is the best thing for J. But, my life is completely changing. And at first, that change unexpectantly slapped me across the face and dropped in my lap like a ton of bricks. I am slowly adjusting. No longer can I walk around in my t-shirt and panties. No longer can I decide to "skip cooking dinner" and just eat cereal. I could list out so many more "no longers." I'm trying to look at being a step-mom as a prerequisite to becoming a mother. There is a selfishness to my life that I am having to sacrifice. And it's not easy.

One of my longtime friends from school made a big pregnancy announcement a couple of weeks ago. I'm very happy for her. This will be her second child. She and her husband have waited 15 years to have a second. Unfortunately, she's been under the weather with all-day morning sickness and headaches. She's a teacher and is going back to school this week, so say a little prayer for her that she feels up to speed to handle all of her OTHER children. She was hesitant to tell me her news. She sent me the sweetest e-mail about it. That kind of concern and thoughtfulness can only come from a true friend.