"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Friday, May 7, 2010

Motherhood and lack thereof

The weekend is finally here. Mother's Day weekend. I've talked to myself alot this week, working myself up for it. Normally, I focus all of my attention and energy on making my Mom feel special. And this year is no different. We're planning an outing tomorrow, even though it may turn into only a trip to Wal-mart. Tragically, neither one of us are really in the mood for any heavy duty shopping.

I decided this afternoon after waking up from a much needed nap that this weekend was going to be a good one, no matter what! I've decided to make this an "All About Amy" weekend. Whatever I want to do, whatever I want to buy, whatever I want to eat....that's what I'm doing. So far, tonight's been fabulous. Keith is working nights this weekend. After my nap, I went to town and bought the ingredients to make fetuccini alfredo, my most favorite thing in the world. I also picked up a nice bottle of white zinfandel on the way home and three chick flicks. Molly, Maggie, and I had a lovely evening filled with pasta, wine, and Joaquin Phoenix. Who knows what all tomorrow holds, but I'll definitely post the results.

So here's to all the fine luxuries of NOT being a mother. A quiet house. Uninterrupted meals. A good night's sleep. Watching what I want to on TV. Bathroom time all to myself. I won't begin to pretend that Sunday won't sting, because it will. Badly. But when God's ready for someone to call me Mommy, it will happen. Until then, I am going to go on living my life appreciating those small luxuries some women would do anything to have.

I haven't been the best blogger these days. My mind has sort of been going in a million different directions lately. Keith has started working on our house again. For those who don't know, we remodeled my grandparent's house about three years ago. We were pressed for time and had to move in before we completely finished it. Now three years later, some areas of our house remain unfinished. We've decided to work room by room until the house is completely and officially DONE. We need that fresh start.

To all my babylost friends, I send hugs and love to you this weekend.


  1. Amy,

    You deserve to indulge in yourself this weekend, as I think that's a perfect idea. Each week I plan things that center around me and what makes me feel good and that seems to help in dealing with the heaviness of all that we are going through.

    Yes, Mother's Day is a tough one...always will be for me, as I lost our baby just 3 days before this day and its hard. However, I do have to honor my Mother and will do so, but as you say "it stings".

    Wishing you peace this weekend and sending you love across the miles. I think of you often and pray for you and Keith always. Best of luck in your home improvement projects! You are going to be so happy with it when you are done...yes, a fresh start :) Send pic's of the progress.

    Many Hugs,

  2. Sending you love too Amy! I am with you on celebrating the things that we can do right now that frazzled moms would give their left toe for! That certainly doesn't mean I wouldn't trade with them in a heartbeat, you know I would, as I know you would! I hope you had a great entire weekend, and that you loved on AMY!!!!