"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I can't believe it's June! Where does the time go? Wasn't it just winter? Here we are again in the midst of another hot and humid South Arkansas summer.

Keith and I made a short trip to Dallas this weekend to do some shopping for my step-son's room. It was nice to go without an agenda of poking, nurses, exams, bloodwork, etc. looming. Just to go and enjoy was nice. The trip was a success, and we came home with alot.

My step-son just turned 13 in April and since then, he's been having some issues with school. Kids are nothing like they were when my husband and I were growing up. He's not making very wise choices right now, and we are all having trouble understanding why. He knows what is right and wrong. It looks like he may be coming to live with us. The role of step-mom is a daunting one at times. I know from growing up with a step-mother how important it is to know my place in his life. The line there is a sensitive one. Do too much, and you're invading Mom territory. Do too little, and you're uninvolved and labeled as uncaring and unwelcoming. I love J alot. While I'm excited about the thought of him living here, I'm scared. Of what, it's hard to put in to words. And too many things wrapped up all into one. Keith and I agree this change is something he desperately needs right now.

Funny how we chose his room to work on first and complete. Funny how it's almost finished....and just in time. Funny how we arrived at the decision to finish the house before trying for a baby again. Looking back over the year, it is amazing to see God's plan unfold in our lives. The Plan is always unfolding, even when we're not aware. His calendar is not aligned with mine. It makes me think... why bother to keep one?

Baby news......we've been researching all of our options, and we're excited about alot of what we've found. I've been exchanging e-mails with our fertility clinic in Dallas, and we're keeping all options open. Right now, our main focus is on our house and getting that part of our lives behind us. Oh, how trying it can be! Everyday life doesn't stop so I can go prep walls to paint. Laundry still piles up. We still have to eat. And we still want a baby.

Despite how trying a house remodel can be, I do feel like I am at a neat place right now. I'm unbelievably content. And content is nice. There is an excitement...an expectancy of some sort....like something truly unexpected and wonderful is around the corner. I've been enjoying our life together more than ever. K and I have been laughing alot, enjoying our home, and just being together. I've also made a decision to stop resenting pregnancy announcements. Somebody pops up pregnant what seems like everyday. Pregnancy is a miracle for any woman, whether or not they realize that or not. This has been a big deal for me in the past. And it has been a heavy weight to my spirit. I decided to lay that burden down.

My thoughts and prayers are with several of my dear blog friends today.....those going thru another round of IVF, those making preparations to bring their new baby home through adoption, and then those who are still waiting like me. Much love and hugs to all of you.


  1. Sweetest Amy,

    So happy that you are in a place of contentment and that you freed yourself by "laying that burden down". It feel so freeing to reach "that place" and I'm so happy you are enjoying your life :)

    As for being a step-mom, I know you are wonderful with J. I know there will be trials in bringing him to your home, but he will be with 2 parents who can give him guidance and direction. Sometimes that is what we need, guidance and of course LOVE :) I will be praying for a smooth transition.

    As for a baby...you will hold a child in your arms Amy, you WILL. As you say, when the time is right. Sometimes we just need a break from the chaos that surrounds TTC. Enjoy your summer sweet friend.

    Thinking of you always,

  2. Looks like it's just hot everywhere;) I am glad that you and hubby are spending time togeather enjoying eachother and moving things forward. I am praying for you. Sending you Hugs.

  3. It is HOT! I'm happy to hear the contentment in your voice. I have to tell myself over and over again not to resent the pregnancy announcements, but they sting sometimes! I can't wait to see pics of your evolving house. Praying for you and Keith as you embark on having J live with y'all. I can't pretend to understand that, but I will send prayers and I have no doubt with God's guidance, you two will be such a blessing!!!