Since Keith and I began trying to have a baby, it amazes me what some of my well-meaning friends say. Don't get me wrong....I love them all. And every word that's said to me I realize is said in love. I know infertility is something not often discussed in casual conversation, and when people are faced with the subject, most don't know what to say or are scared to death they will say the wrong thing. It has taken me some time, but I like to think I've developed an ability to hear their words not only with my ears, but also with my heart. People truly mean well.
Sometimes someone will say "Enjoy it, because when you have a baby, that will end." This is usually said during a conversation about me sleeping in on a Saturday, taking naps, going on a spur-of-the-moment weekend trip with Keith, my quiet morning coffee, etc. I can't help but wonder......will all of that really end? I am ready for my life to change, as I'm also told will happen once we have a baby. I would be willing to sacrifice all of my simple pleasures for my bundle of love, joy, affection, and wet diapers. And I'm sure all mothers who read this will say "yeah right" to my next statement, but I don't believe I will have to sacrifice much of anything except maybe a few nights of sleep. Life will continue. And the coffee will too. A baby will only make the simple pleasures of my life even more enjoyable.
I was thinking about all of this last night while I was grocery shopping in Wal-Mart. As I've mentioned before, Wal-Mart is a prime location to baby-watch. Last night was no exception. I couldn't help but notice how inconvenienced the majority of women with children seemed while shopping. Some of them probably speak in a more kind and gentle tone to strangers than their own children. I believe that if anything good at all possibly comes from my infertility, it will be that I will always think before opening my mouth to speak to my child. May the Lord always guide my tongue and emotions before I say something that will ever make him or her think they are not the most precious gift I've ever received. I know being a Mom has to be a stressful and tiring job. But it is a God-given position. A priceless gift. A gift some of us so desperately desire. A gift one should cherish each and everyday, no matter how much sleep you had the night before or how many dirty dishes are stacked in the sink. I wish some Moms would have this knowledge. This perspective. I wish they could see the view from where I stand.
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You are so precious....
ReplyDeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your perspective on so many levels. People do mean well, but it often comes across in the wrong format, as no one can understand the true feelings of someone searching for a little piece of bliss...baby bliss.
In this moment, our views are much different than those of "others", who I refer to as the outsiders. However, we have to continue to BELIEVE and hold on to eternal HOPE :) And, allow him to direct our steps...as he has the answers.
Thank you for the beautiful note, so sweetly written with love and compassion. I am going to respond to you, as I want to be "your cheerleader" along this path to success :)
Much Love
Andrea
Amy, I just read your last few posts. Longview, ehk!!! Only 30 mins from me though! I agreed with your babies everywhere post, it's like every single turn! Yesterday was a horrible day for me with drama with our birthmother and it may not even happen and literally checking out at Ulta, one of the girls pulled out her ultrasound pics, after my other childless friend was told, oh yeah you came in with your kids right?!? (to which I barked, more sharply than I'd like, She doesn't have kids!!!). It was like no matter what we did or where we went they were all up in our faces.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love this post, b/c I believe it, I've seen it first hand with my friends who struggled to have babies, they appreciate their kids so much more and know what a miracle they are. One of my friends who lost two babies b/f having he precious son sent me a poem about it. I'm going to see if she still has it!
I'm praying you to your sweet miracle baby and know you are a wonderful mother! We are mothers, others may not see that, but I do, and I believe that! So keep being strong in your faith, God will provide for us all in His perfect time (I just wish we were on the same time table!).
This post of yours made me cry. I mean really cry. I so know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteStacy